I wrote a poem, a poem that explains everything. A poem that explains my life, and explains my feelings towards all that I've lived through. I could never had said anything in a more perfect way, this poem explains all. I hope you enjoy it. 

When you look into the eyes of the future you
often see the past
It's only when a wife is concerned for
the silent tears you shed
and that she cannot see, that it's discussed.

In that discussion you try to explain the difference
between silent tears and tears of silence.

The difference is as large as the imagination of a child.

Tears of silence are the tears of joy in watching 
the future grow before your very eyes.

They are the tears of joy---healing the heartache 
and watching for the choices between right and wrong and
teaching the difference.

Silent tears are those that are not seen by man or woman,
they are the tears created and seen only by a child.

Eventually you try to explain to your partner that these
tears not seen are for the flashes of the past, 

The flashes that occur from time to time
without provocation.

They are the emotions that are raised when you find yourself disciplining a child,
wondering---have I crossed that line?

The conversations that you never had that would change
the meaning of your tears forever are yet to be born.

The conversations that would bring the voice to those silent
tears are the monsters under the bed.

The words that would wake the dead are
better left to those poor soulds buried without tears, 
be they tears of silence or silent tears.

One day a man decides that the monsters under the bedd 
are real and very much alive.

They live in his mind as a memory
reborn when he closes his eyes to sleep.

As time goes on they cause the ability to sleep with his eyes 
open, instilling fear in the one that sleeps next to him.

She wonders what could have happened to a 
man that would cause such a trait.

She sits wondering what events have occurred that would
bring a man to such a fear of the dark.

A fear of the sounds that only a mother makes as she walks
into his bedroom.

Somehow the sleep that is required  by this man is 
replaced with midnight awakenings in a shout of fear. 

The need to stay awake overpowers the need
to sleep---again the body and the mind have adjusted. 

Notwithstanding this, a son's love for his mother is 
stronger than the willpower required to keep
the silent tears unheard.

Mom---I love you. 

And more than that, I forgive you.

Please forgive me for giving voice to the once silent tears.

Now, like you, please, please let the monsters
under the bed be put to rest. 
Your son---Richard 

                                                                              --Richard Pelzer

11/20/2018 09:20:25 am

Writing a journal in a young age or while going through a difficult period of your life is a powerful therapy. I sincerely have compassion for all you 've been through, you and your brother David, and I am also very happy that life opened up to you; a new happiness and a new family. While reading your story and David's, I think I never been so devastated by such a horrific story. God bless you now because you found peace in your heart.


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    December 2012